
Seek for me not where the wild flowers grow,
Find me now where dried flowers lie against cold stone
Where the weeds have by thistle choked out the daisy's bright
Casting then upon the ground the most obscuring shadowing of night.
Linger with me in meadows of death's fragrance, find in me the intonation of a voice controlled by grief
No longer does the music of life, love, gaiety and promise play in unheard wondrous relief
But there is now being played on a harp the chords major of a A Vengeance Song urging
As the new theme music of that belonging to an Angel of the Shadows, once more of light, now
Becomes Once More a Stranger To Passion and True Love Forever Merged






December 23, 2009
OKAY! I am now out of fear and into the fight mode! You know there are some things about Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that I just have to love. The fear mode is NOT one of them but you can go from that flight or fear where all your adrenaline is pumping you into running or you can go from flight into FIGHT! And then all your adrenaline is for that! And I am now into fight! And I do fight! I fight for causes! And I started today! I called a talk radio show that is nationwide and I told them about this guy and all the federal lawsuits that had been filed against him and the mayor and the City etc. Just goggle Chief of Police Bertram Texas and you will see. I talked on air about all the abuse of others and cannot till I am out of here talk about what he did to me. They had me on the air! The talk shows hosts were stunned! They kept me on for over 15 minutes asking me questions, the news department is calling me! He brought hell into my life! Well I am bringing an Angel into his and not an Angel of Romance as I love to be but this time I am as those of you that role play with me know, I am the Angel of Retribution, I am the Lilith I play online, I have wings that are huge and black leather, they are lined with talons and drag behind me and as they do the blood of my last victim drips from them onto the floor. My eyes are a deep fire of amber, my hair is still blond but has the color of flames in it! HE wants a fight! So be it, I am using what I know as truth, that Vengeance is mine saith the Lord, and I am now letting Him use me! Am I still moving? You bet! But now he will rue the day he ever assaulted me, ever held me falsely in an er without treatment with a broken IV needle in my arm with two of his cops in my room as a nurse stripped me and let them see me in all my natural state. He will shake when he remembers he left them in my room, as my PTSD threw me into episodes of horror because their guns were un-clipped from the holsters. The nurses refused to change me after that, they refused to take the broken needle out of my arm, the doctor came in and told my caretaker that they had held out of the er for over five hours illegally with threat of arrest that he refused to treat me! Refuse did he well when I get done with him he will NEVER be able to do that again. A suit of Professional Misconduct is coming his way. That is enough to take his license! Do I care? Should I care? Did he? He made a mistake because this Cop who was out of his jurisdiction manipulated everything. And then I found out that the statement that sent me to an ICU suicide ward that was out of the 50's and that before admittance to the ward they stripped me and did a body cavity search to make sure I had nothing I could use to hurt myself, was a statement that did NOT say I was suicidal! It said I was masking my suicide tendencies VERY well! How in the name of God do you mask suicide tendencies! She read my mind she stated. Well I can hardly wait till my attorneys ask her what are we thinking? Cause that is the first statement they are asking her! I am suing them too, that MMHR, should I care? Did they? Then THEY SHOOT MY DOG! THIS WAS A SERVICE ANIMAL! THAT IS SOOOO ILLEGAL! Now the ADA is in on this! I apologize I got the name wrong, it was not Storm it was Sasha that cute red puppy that I have in my gallery. Well I got a new one and I am posting her picture. Her name is Destiny, and she is fabulous! She is but 12 weeks old! And no one is going to touch my dogs again! I LOVVVED THIS DOG! She was the one that knew my emotions and would rise up on her back legs and hug me before !
Second, I am now fighting for Genie!

And her life! I am making all the congress and the legislature know how I feel about this crappy health bill and that I will campaign against anyone that votes for it! If you don't think I am right read it! Or go to

journal and read the highlights! I am fighting for recognition MORE in this country of the Aids problem! I LOVE THIS YOUNG WOMAN! SHE IS THE BRAVEST WOMAN I KNOW! SHE HOLD SO MUCH LOVE IN HER HEART IT OVERFLOWS INTO THE WORLD! SHE needs our prayers, our encouragement and our love. So for her and as a gift to me and now a gift from me to her,
from

Moody Blues
One Step Into The Light lyrics
Songwriters: Pinder, Michael
One step into the light
One step away from night
It's the hardest step you're gonna take
The ship to take you there
Is waiting at the head
Of the stairs that lead up through your opening mind
Above the dark despair
Shines a light that we can share
Close your eyes and look up in between your brows
Then slowly breathing in
Feel the LIFE FORCE streaming in
Hold it there, then send it back to him
All the old things are returning
Cosmic circles ever turning
All the truth we've been yearning for
Life is our Savior, Savior, Savior, save your soul
The river of LIVING BREATH
Is flowing through the SUN
He was there before the earth began
The world will drag on you
Use his love to pull you through
Find the mission of YOUR LIFE and start to BE
All the old things are returning
Cosmic circles ever turning
All the truth we've been yearning for
Life is our Savior, Savior, Savior, save your soul
There's one thing I can do
Play my Mellotron for you
Try to blow away your city blues
Your dreams are not unfound
Get your feet back on the ground
The TRUTH will set us FREE, we cannot lose
We cannot love, we just have to CHOOSE
Bill I cannot - I cannot find the words to tell you how this has strengthened me and I hope it strengthened Genie too. PLEASE go by and give her some love!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE AND I HOPE ALL YOUR WISHES ARE GRANTED.
Especially for one

I am glad all is working out!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU MY FRIEND!


Just a side note, that vision of that angel is one that gives me inner strength. Those that have PTSD will understand! No I am not crazy and think I look like that, but I believe an Angel of Vengeance might. What do you think?

LOVE YOU ALL
katarina









December 20, 2009
I live in America. The land of the brave. Well I am not so brave anymore. As of one hour ago one of my dogs was killed. He died in my arms with his eyes pleading to me why and what he had done.All he did was try to protect me.That is what he was supposed to do. Land of the free. Only if you don't live in a town that is a total police state run by a Chief of Police that is totally nuts. I blame myself for packing faster and getting out of here sooner. But now the FBI is here and my Christmas is being spent with a new friend, true fear. I am now truly afraid.
But - that will not stop me from fighting. I will keep on fighting. I have too! Especially now for Storm. And for all the other people he has harassed and threatened and told he is going to take out. As I move through my fear I know it will turn to justifiable anger. And if any of you think this cannot happen just goggle Chief of Police Bertram Texas and start reading.
Finally I want to still do what is in my heart and that is this -
WISH ALL OF YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!
love,
Katarina







December 17, 2009
With all that I am going through it hit me it is nothing compared to what one of my friends is going through. She is an amazing young woman, her heart is full of love and joy even though she had a horrific event happen to her. It is outlined in one of her journals so please go and read it. She is known to me as keeper of my soul for its safety and my heart to keep it warm in these times of turmoil. She is also a young woman who shines like the sun even in the darkness that tried to take her over. I admire her and am constantly amazed at her love. And now she is blessed with a love of her own as well. No one deserves it more.

is her avatar. Wonderful is her name.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMAS WISHES COME TRUE!
love,
katti






"Walk daily as if it is the last day of your life, for we cannot discern what forces may color the sand that slips through the narrow path of the Glass of Hours Of Mistress Time. Will it be the almost pure white of a moment more promised, or will it be the blood red stain of life's precious flow set to be put into motion to ebb out of us? Who knows what steps either by foot placed, word, thought or deed will be the straw that causes the beat of the soul to shout out, 'I Give."
